i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
