I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Randomize
