ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
