I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
