i think i have herpe
just one?
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
