I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Is Oprah even human
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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