he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
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