my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
