if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
