you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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