When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
