i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
