So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
