Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
