Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
