we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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