literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
we should paint friendship bongs
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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