I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize
