I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Randomize
