Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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