ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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