Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
