Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
