I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
