Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Buhtt sex?
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
