so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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