Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
