I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Randomize
