No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
