Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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