And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
So vagazzling was a success
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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