okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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