i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
