you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
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