He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
