He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
