How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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