With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
