Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Randomize
