Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
