She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
