You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
