also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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