i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
she smelled like a LAN party
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
