im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
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