Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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