As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
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