after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
