I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
