i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
If that was your dad, he is hot
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
