At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Randomize
