We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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